Survivors of Charn
A Visit From Vengeance
Twas the right of our mistress to safeguard our homes,
From a wicked old elf and his murderous gnomes.
Our children were kidnapped right out of their beds,
By his dark minion Krampus, who bashed in their heads.
So Left Hands were sent to a land cold and gray,
In search of St Nicholas, without delay.
Roxanda with her crossbow and Juan with his stick
And Nora and Rourke went to war on Saint Nick.
Two rogues and a rat and a fat ace detective,
The Great Crown of Winter was their main objective.
The enemy placed many foes in their path,
Weevils and Reindeer and Trees faced their wrath.
The Weevils they stabbed and the Reindeer they shot
While the animate trees started feeling quite hot.
The tide of the battle was starting to turn
And the once mighty forest was destined to burn,
Our brave little party, surprised and astounded,
Discovered the bonfire had them surrounded.
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But a big flying mutant and pissed off reindeer.
His name was Rudolph, the foe of Saint Nick
His nose was red hot and he flew like a brick.
He rescued the band and they flew to his boss,
The fairy men know as Good King Wenceslas.
Along with his sidekick, the Jolly Svart Piet
The king led elf rebels from loss to defeat.
A council was held where the cold north wind howls,
And the two bands of outlaws agreed to be pals.
There Nora conceived of a violent excursion,
She sent out the King to create a diversion.
His elves tried to conquer the workshop by force,
while the left hands slipped in by the back door, of course.
In twilight they flew cross the land cold and gray,
They murdered a reindeer and hijacked his sleigh.
So while the good King sent each elf to his grave,
The left hands slipped in to Saint Nick’s white enclave.
By cunning and magic and deft camouflages,
The Left Hands concocted some grand sabotages.
They threw all the levers, they smashed the machines,
They scattered the toys and the good jelly beans
They dosed the bad elves with their own medicines.
For the cookies were laced with hallucinogens
When Old Krampus came out, the Hands sent him away,
And no elf can forget little Jingle’s birthday.
All the elves now were free so they staged a revolt,
while our brave band of heroes decided to bolt.
The basement was lit by strung lights of low wattage
And there in the gloom they discovered Nick’s cottage.
Saint Nick was still sleeping, so they took his cold crown,
Then they ransacked his house and they stole his red gown.
It was time to take off like four thieves in the night,
Up a magical chimney they flew out of sight.
And some heard one exclaim as they faded from view,
If you Cross the Queen Jadis, we’ll plunder you too!